How This Book Was Written And Why: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
At the beginning of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” the author, Dale Carnegie, explains to us that it was his experience in New York City in 1909 that drove him to write a book about worry and how to handle it. Mr. Carnegie tells us that he was unhappy in his work, was less than pleased with his lifestyle, and felt he could do without the feelings of ill health, which were created by the stress of his situation.
He felt that the dreams he had during his college years were nothing short of nightmares at that point. Mr. Carnegie plainly states that he was feeling resentment, bitterness, and disappointment because of where he found himself in life.
So what’s a guy in that position to do? Well… Dale Carnegie thought things over and decided to make a change!
He quit the job he didn’t like, which was selling trucks, and decided to teach adult classes. This career path change was something, after all, that his college education had qualified him for.
But, Dale Carnegie didn’t want to just teach. He wanted to write books. He knew he needed to have a way of supporting himself though.
His thinking was that he could teach at night and write during the day. He considered what courses he would be best suited to teach to adults and settled upon teaching Public Speaking. His feeling was that out of all the college training he had received, from the State Teacher’s College in Warrensburg Missouri, what he had been taught about public speaking would be the most useful to other adults.
Why did he think this? Well, the answer seemed to be pretty simple to him. Public Speaking would be the most useful thing he could teach other adults because he had noticed that power and leadership came most easily to those people who could stand up and, with confidence, come right out and say what was on their mind.
Having left the job he loathed; Dale Carnegie landed himself a new job that was a bit of a challenge for him as a teacher. This was because he needed to be able to produce positive results in the classroom that his employers could see.
Where was this new and challenging job? It was at YMCA night schools where he was teaching Public Speaking classes!
While working for the YMCA as a teacher; Mr. Carnegie wasn’t just dealing with adults who wanted to learn how to speak publically. Dale tells us that they were in these classes because they wanted to solve their life problems.
Dale tells us here in his book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” that he was teaching classes to folks who wanted to be able to stand up at a company meeting and talk without feeling like they were going to pass out on the floor. The people taking his classes wanted to be able to make sales calls on customers without feeling like they had to take a few trips around the block first just to get up the courage to do it. He was helping people to be more self-confident and think better about themselves. The beauty part is that Dale enjoyed the work, even though he wasn’t getting paid what he wanted at first.
“True!” There was the fact that if he didn’t inspire people to keep coming back for his classes he wouldn’t get paid. This was because his students were paying the YMCA (his employer) monthly installments and could stop coming at any time; if they weren’t satisfied with the classes Mr. Carnegie was teaching. However, he kept right on doing what he was doing, and, over time, his pay increased six times the amount he first received at the start of his employment.
In addition; Dale Carnegie figured out through his teaching job that the people he was working with could stand to benefit from more than just a public speaking class. He discovered that his students could do with some instruction on how to win friends and influence people. So he started teaching other classes at the YMCA on that topic. In addition to that; he wrote a book entitled, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” which was to be used as a suitable book for teaching people about human relations.
He tells us in, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” that he wrote, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” because he couldn’t find a suitable textbook on the topic of how to manage relationships with other people during that time. He then expresses the surprise that he felt when the sales for, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” soared. He felt he was probably the most genuinely surprised author on earth at the time because he only meant for the book to be sold in conjunction with the night classes he was teaching. “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” was born out of the experiences of the adults who took his Public Speaking classes.
However, Mr. Carnegie had students in his classes, from all walks of life, that he felt could benefit from published works containing a few more principles that he was already teaching.
So, after Dale Carnegie had written, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” he felt he needed to write one more book that would help his students. Do you care to guess which book that would be?
Chapter 1: A Magic Formula For Solving Worry Situations: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
In Chapter 1 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” Mr. Carnegie tells us of one formula that will help us to banish the aspect of worry from situations we are faced with. He tells us that it’s true that this formula may not work for every type of worry situation out there. However, Dale felt it was a pretty good one worth telling us about all the same.
Keep in mind as you read on to find out about what this formula is; should you decide to give it a go for yourself, it will be most effective for you if you write everything out. “Yes,” you will want to write down what the steps of it are so you have them handy should you want to use them or, better still, work on committing them to memory for use in your daily life.
It is most beneficial to write down the situation that is worrying you; including what you come up with in each part of the three-step process about to be shared here. Writing things down helps to organize and solidify thoughts. For many people, it helps to write everything out because they now have something they can look at and build upon as they work toward a positive solution. So, even if it seems like a big waste of time at first, “Do it anyway.” You’ll be glad you did!
“Now,” having said all that; let’s get on with talking about the steps in this Magic Formula for Banishing Worry!
Step one; in looking at the situation that is causing you anxiety/worry, relax enough to look closely at the situation as it stands. Then ask yourself what the worst possible outcome will be if the situation that is worrying you gets worse. What? The situation hasn’t happened yet? Ok! No problem! Then write out for yourself what the worst possible outcome of the situation will be if it does come to pass.
I know how hard it can be when you are under a lot of stress but do try not to get carried away here. Do your best to keep things based on facts or, at the very least, what you believe the facts to be.
Step two; accept that the worst may happen. Acknowledge it as being a very real possibility.
Then, once you’ve accepted it, look at your options if the worst does arrive on your doorstep of life. Research possible options if you need to. Every action reacts. If you don’t have enough knowledge about the situation to determine what your reaction should be, assuming it all does hit the fan, researching options intelligently is the smarter and healthier way to go. You don’t have to like the options you find. But at least you will feel better because you have an idea of what the true consequences may lead to; all based on fact rather than a nightmare born out of emotional reactions.
Step three; now that you’ve looked at and accepted that the worst may happen, start devoting your time to improving upon what you’ve already accepted the worst can be. You might just find at this stage in the process that you are now calm enough to find a way to keep the worst from happening altogether.
If preventing the worst is not an option, at the very least, you will now have written down enough ideas and information based on fact to do some damage control. Yup! It’s true! Should things go south despite your efforts; there’s always the chance that you’ll be able to somewhat salvage the situation by following these three steps we’ve just talked about! Now that’s not a bad thing, is it?
Chapter 2: What Worry May Do To You: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
I think that we can all agree (even without any input from Dale Carnegie in Chapter 2 of his book, How To Stop Worrying And Start Living) that worry can kill. It shortens lives and creates illness within a worrier’s body with devastating ease. So, is it any small wonder that Mr. Carnegie should talk to us, at the start of this chapter, about this well-known fact?
Of course, Dale points out that doctors he’s personally spoken to feel that seventy percent of their patients could cure themselves of their ailments if they would only stop worrying. He acknowledges that people who are sick from worrying too much aren’t imagining it. However, he feels that the chain of events where worry is concerned about one’s health goes something like this.
Fear causes worry. Worry causes tension in the body. Tension in the body affects the nervous system. When the nervous system is affected for long periods, things like arrhythmia of the heart, ulcers in the stomach, and much worse begin to occur for the person experiencing the worry. For many, it has already led to an early grave. Even in the world today; chances are pretty good that worry will probably take many more lives unless people learn how to change their thinking habits.
Dale talks about how people have developed conditions like diabetes, arthritis, and cancer because of the worry they have permitted to run rampant in their lives. He also gives examples of how some of these conditions have been reversed once the person understood that their emotional upset was the root of their medical condition.
Mr. Carnegie tells us here that those people who are fortunate enough to realize that it’s their worrying that is causing them to receive a high number of medical bills in the mail and destroying their quality of life are the lucky ones. They are the ones who have the power at that point to do something about it and often do. This positive action on their part often triggers some highly effective results for them both in body and mind.
Dale Carnegie also expresses his gratitude, in this chapter of his original work, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” for the medical profession finally being willing to look at the full picture when it comes to a patient’s health problems. In years past patients used to be treated for their physical ailments only. The condition of the mind and body were treated as two separate and unrelated things. However, he was pleased to see that the tied had begun to turn with this approach to modern medicine.
Carnegie points out in this chapter; In World War II one out of every six men called to serve were turned away because they exhibited psychological disorders that made them unfit for duty. Dale talks about how he suspected that fear and worry can play a large role in driving a person to the point of insanity. But he also acknowledged that this is difficult to prove because there is so much still to learn about the way the mind works. He reasons however that worry and other negative emotions, like hate along with fear, were probably contributing factors for many who began suffering from mental illnesses.
“True,” it is often easier said than done to learn how to stop worrying. However, it is possible to do. For some of us, counseling helps with stress management. But it is also possible for others to simply learn to stop worrying all on their own.
Bottom line? With worry being the cause of many different sicknesses and diseases, while even accelerating the aging process drastically for some, wouldn’t it be better to learn how to fight worry? If you had to choose to give up worry or live a longer healthier life you would pick giving up the worry, right?
Chapter 3: How To Analyze And Solve Worry Problems: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Dale Carnegie tells us right off the bat in Part 2 Chapter 3 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that we need to have an effective strategy for dealing with the vast array of worry problems that can arise. Mr. Carnegie says that to properly analyze worry problems we need to perform three steps.
Step one; Gather together all the facts. Without having the proper information about a problem one is going to make their life hell in worrying about it. This is because they are not even certain that what they are worried about is based on reality.
One has no hope of effectively dealing with any problem without facts about it. They would more than likely have more success avoiding an accident if they drove their car blindfolded than they would if they went about attempting to put their worry problems to bed without the facts.
By the way; you don’t drive with blinders on do you? What? You do? Where do you live so I can avoid the area? It’s nothing personal! Honest! I just don’t have a death wish yet!
In all seriousness though, if you stop to think about it, is it worth worrying yourself over something you know nothing about? Isn’t losing sleep over something you have little knowledge of the kind of like creating a self-induced nightmare?
Mr. Carnegie points out in this chapter of his book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” that the facts aren’t what we want them to be or desire them to be. He says that this is where so many folks run into trouble because they are trying to solve their problems based more on what they think they know rather than what they do know. “This plan never works people!” You do know that “Right?”
Dale does recognize that it’s very difficult to accurately obtain information about a problem that is worrying us because our emotions are running just a touch bit high. So he suggests two things that might help us when we are in this predicament.
Firstly; He suggests that we pretend that we are gathering facts about a problem for someone else, rather than ourselves. He says that if we view things in this fashion it will help us to alleviate some of the tension brought on by our emotions over the situation. This way we can deal with the problem and collect facts about it from a more objective perspective.
Of course, you will want to write the facts down after you’ve gathered them all in an objective, impartial manner, too. If you try to do it all in your head you’re going to miss things when you are ready to proceed with the next two steps in this process. After all, if you have a clear picture as to what the problem is in a format you can see, isn’t the problem half solved already?
Secondly; Dale suggests that we then start building a defense against ourselves by looking at the situation that is worrying us from the viewpoint of the other parties involved. It’s kind of like pretending that we are going to court against ourselves. Mr. Carnegie’s idea here is that if we go about gathering facts in this manner we can then begin to pull together all the facts that would otherwise displease us to personally face.
Step two; examine the facts. Dale points out to us that at this stage of the game we need to start thinking about the consequences of each action we can take, too, should we decide to move on one or more of them. And, “Yes,” you will want to write this entire part out as well, to help you clarify your thinking.
Step three; decide on how we are going to proceed in solving our worry problem, based on the facts we have and our analysis of them. Then, finally and most importantly, act on that decision!
If we don’t make a decision then the problem will usually continue to exist. The other possibility is that because we didn’t make a decision on how to effectively deal with our worry problem someone else will do it for us. So, all in all, it’s really in our best interests to make a decision, based on concrete facts, on how we are going to handle the thing that is worrying us. Then, once we know what we’ve got to do to put the thing to rest, “We need to simply put our plan into action!”
After following through on steps to solving a problem it’s kind of hard to continue to worry about it. Once a plan of action is in place and has begun to be carried out, bringing a situation to a close, things tend to ease in the mind. Yup! Things, “Like sleep,” come more quickly to some folks. Once a stressful problem is dealt with; some of us will even tend to want to run to the coffee pot a little bit less before moving on to writing the next page or mini-chapter of our day.
Chapter 4: How To Eliminate 50 Percent Of Your Business Worries: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
In the starting page of Chapter 4 in his book, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” Dale admits that the title he has given this little segment promises an awful lot. Even he knows that he will be powerless to guarantee that what is offered in this part of his book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” will help you.
However, the good news is that the information he has about this subject is based on how other people have successfully dealt with their business worries. Yup! They are now living happier fuller lives all because they’ve taken the time to use it. So whether or not you want to follow the formulas offered here in this book and how well they work for you… Well…. That’s pretty much all up to you now, isn’t it?
Mr. Carnegie rounds all of this off by stating that even if the formula he suggests only eliminates ten percent of someone’s business worries it’s still worth it. This is because it’s a reduction in stress levels. Who doesn’t want to reduce their stress in life? What? Do you lead a stress-free life already? Hoom…. You’re reading this book for what reason exactly now? Anyhow, “moving right along!”
If you hold a position in a business where people are constantly bringing you problems that need to be solved, resulting in long-drawn-out discussions that lead nowhere, there are four simple questions you could ask folks to write down the answers to before seeking a consult with you. Chances are that you will notice that a lot of folks suddenly won’t need to talk to you, should you choose to enforce this requirement. Also, at those times when someone does need to talk their problem over with you after having fulfilled your requirement of writing down the answers to the following four questions, you will notice that the conversations you have are far more productive and effective.
On the other side of that coin; these four questions will also help you get down to the bottom of your business problems. These could be matters like, “Why am I not getting enough sales with all the calls I’m making,” or, “Why is my goal of expanding the client base of my web hosting business by fifteen thousand not panning out?” There are probably other applications in problem-solving and worry elimination that these four questions could be used for as well. But, if it’s ok with you, we’re just going to stick with the above-mentioned possibilities for now. Does that sound like a plan to you? You said, “Yes,” right? “Awesome!”
I guess you’d like to know the magic four questions to ask or be asked in the context of the above-mentioned, ha? Well… Here they are!
1. What is the problem? It’s kind of hard to solve a problem if it isn’t clearly defined and is only discussed in general terms.
2. What is the source of the problem? Every situation usually has a trigger or starting point that helped to bring it into being. By the way, “I don’t know,” just wouldn’t be a helpful answer here. If someone is unsure of what started a problem they need to work to find out what it is before answering the next question.
3. What solutions could resolve the problem? I’d be willing to bet that there are plenty of solutions that could resolve any negative situation, “How about you?”
4. Which is the best solution or recommended remedy for the situation? Whether asking yourself or somebody else this last question does something very important. It makes an individual decide how to make the problem go away and commit to act upon that course of action.
Problems cause stress and worry. Eliminate the problem and you don’t have any. Well… Ok…. You don’t have any stress and worry about the problem that has been rendered nonexistent by the effective course of action chosen and acted upon by a single person or group. How many problems you have versus the number of them you can solve via this method will determine the percentage of worry reduction you experience. In short; the effectiveness of the four-step formula just given is really up to you!
Chapter 5: How To Crowd Worry Out Of Your Mind: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
In writing the Summarization of Part 3 Chapter 5 of Dale Carnegie’s book, How To Stop Worrying And Start Living; I’ve just got to ask, “Are you stressing over a situation unfolding around you that you have no control of and no place in even thinking about trying to take control of it?” No? Well, maybe you are just really sad because you lost a loved one whom you were close to and now find yourself dragging along every day, feeling terrible since the loss occurred? That doesn’t describe you either, ha? Awesome!
We don’t wish those things on anyone. But they can happen to any normal living breathing human being and the upset that accompanies events in life like these is perfectly normal. If it happens to you and you find yourself feeling down/worried about it just know that there is a cure in the house to help take away the pain when you are ready to let it go!
What is this magic cure? It’s a remarkable one that doesn’t even require a trip to the drugstore for antidepressants! It’s called, “Get Busy!” Yup! That is the cure Dale Carnegie has heard, from a lot of people, which seems to work best!
Why does it work? Well, as Dale explains in his book, keeping busy helps us to take our minds off of the negatives in life. This is because it’s impossible to have two thoughts at the same time. If you’ve got doubts about that then feel free to check with the psychologist of your choosing. I’d be willing to bet that they can verify this fact for you like no one else can. I think they would call what you are describing something like, “Occupational Therapy!”
The same principle holds for emotions. One will find that being dragged down by grief is not within their realm of capability while they are feeling a rush of joy and excitement about something else they are doing. One emotion will always drive the other out, hands down. God has built us in such a manner that we, as in the case of our thoughts, will simply not be able to have two feelings at the same time, either.
Carnegie explains that worry is a part of every human being’s basic psychological composition. It proved very effective in helping man to survive long before the days of civilization. Worry is a part of the mechanism of the mind that helped us as a race to survive during our caveman phase known as Fight or Flight. Worry is still a major component of that natural mechanism; a mechanism that can have a very powerful hold over us if we allow it to, even today.
Mr. Carnegie explains that if the mind is left idle for too long of a time our imaginations can start to run away from us. The imagination can start to conjure up things that are sort of true at first if left unchecked. But if allowed to continue that imagination will eventually convince us that things exist as a part of the situation upsetting us, even though these things aren’t present in reality.
Dale tells us this is natural but not unpreventable. The solution for controlling this is pretty straight forward though!
Find a positive activity that we enjoy so much it drives out worry. Then worry will eventually give up on calling upon us and go away.
According to what is in the text of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” if we are still experiencing worry while doing positive activities in our daily lives then we need to increase the number of activities. For many people, this works well alone. But keeping as busy as possible also works well when practiced in conjunction with therapy or counseling.
Bottom line? Got Worried? Great! What are you going to do about it? Get busy perhaps? Yes? Rocken!
Chapter 6: Don’t Let The Beatles Get You Down: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Dale Carnegie makes the astute observation in Chapter 6 of his book, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that people will often deal with life-threatening situations rather bravely and without complaint. However, it is here that he points out something very interesting I’d be willing to bet that we’ve also seen in the same kinds of people who can face hardship and death, “Fearlessly.”
It’s the little things that get under the skin for many of these folks and even your average Joes in the world. True, some things should cause us all a bit of concern from time to time. But, even Dale noted that for the most part, “It’s the little pointless issues and things that many folks waste a lot of energy fretting over.”
Marriages are often destroyed by them. Some people allow the kind of times they have to be controlled by them. Many people even get sick over them. What are they? They are called, “Little Trifles!”
They aren’t life-threatening. But these little trifles certainly do change the direction of life for many, largely because a lot of people set store by them. Mr. Carnegie points out that people have even been killed for something as silly as a disparaging remark that upset them. Need proof of this? Ask your local defense attorney or judge. They will be able to confirm this for you. If you have time, go and sit in a courtroom for a while. A lot of the stuff you hear will more than likely have resulted in criminal or civil charges being filed because of something trivial and insignificant in the scheme of things.
To clarify this point; Mr. Carnegie uses the analogy of a tree in the woods that has stood for centuries. It has survived all kinds of weather, been struck several times by lightning, and perh,aps even managed to continue standing after an avalanche or two. In his analogy, he points out that many of us are like that tough old tree.
However, in his analogy, things do not end well for the tree in the woods. But is it destroyed by anything major like lighteninlightningalanche? No! Nothing like that at all! Like real trees in the forest Mr. Carn, Angie’s tree is destroyed slowly and steadily by little tiny bugs eating away at it until they finally bring it crashing down.
What Dale is saying pretty much is that we all, to some point, have a lot in common with that tree he speaks of. For most of us it’s not anything major that brings us down in the end; only the accumulation of little tiny poorly managed issues. If left unchecked these issues have the potential to bring the end nearer than it ever needs to be, for anyone in this life.
Chapter 7: A Law That Will Outlaw Many Of Your Worries: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Have you ever stopped to consider what you worry about based upon averages? If you look at the statistics on some of the things people are most fearful of; you would be amazed to find how unlikely it is that these things will be them. But upon hearing these folks talk about their fears; you would think their worst nightmares happen to the people around us all of the time.
In Chapter 8 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” Some of the unlikely things that Dale Carnegie talks about people fearing having happen to them are things like; acquiring certain types of diseases, injury from an auto accident at very slow speeds, and being,g struck by lightning. But many people are fearful of these things and panic when faced with situations where these types of events appear to be threatening their g.
Mr. Carnegie tells us that it is felt in circles of the health care profession; something like ninety percent of the things people worry about is the pursuit of our imaginations. This is because when you sit down to research the likelihood of a certain something bad happening to you the Law Of Averages kicks in; showing the true reality and remote possibility of such a thing ever happening to an individual. Many times that pretty much means that it’s not li happen at all. This is especially true when you stop to consider the number of people that live on the face of the planet.
Mr. Carnegie tells us that the United States Military teaches soldiers not to fear death in certain situations based on the law of averages. “Yes,” the military actually can provide our troops with exact figures on this kind of stuff.
He also talks about how insurance companies are ou that certain things won’t happen, which is how they stay in business. Dale tells us that it is true that they are providing our insurance coverage in case of a disaster happening. But insurance companies are tar money from us based on our fears of certain things. However, the reality is that there is only a small likely hood they will ever have to give any of our money back. This is because our fear will not become reality in most cases.
So, perhaps, in addition to their health and emotional well-being; Maybe it’s time people asking themselves how much their concern over the little, “What ifs,” in life are costing them out of pocket on a monte very month possible you are paying extra money for things you don’t ensure (and I’m not talking about the stuff the law requires us to ensure either) based on your worry
Chapter 8: Cooperate With The Inevitable: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
I think we all know that there are some things in life just areg to be changed once they happen. Sometimes we’ve just got to accept that they happen and move along, as unpleasant as these experiences may have been.
If you do not have the power to change something; whining about it isn’t going to help you do anything other than make yourself get upset or sick over what is already permanently done. It doesn’t matter if it is the loss of a body part or something equally as traumatic, if not worse. At some point you’ve j, just got to accept it as if it were just another part of the scenery in the landscape of life. This is exactly what Dale Carnegie wrote about in Chapter 9 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living!”
In Chapter 8 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” we are reminded that Jesus once said that the Kingdom of Heaven is within us. In this chapter Dale Carenginee points out that the Kingdom of Hell is within us, too, and our attitudes towards life will determine which one we spend more time in. I don’t know about you but I like Heaven, Personally speaking, of course!
Dale does recognize, too, that some people are better equipped to deal with accepting the inevitable than others. But he also points out that some people don’t think that they could ever face a situation; noting that these same people find they can if they really ha The reason they thought they couldn’t before actually doing so? Well… This is because, naturally, they didn’t want to. So they convinced themselves they couldn’t.
When the inevitable turns out to be in the form of becoming disabled (for lack of a better and more positive term) people have found that it isn’t so much the disability that is unbearable. What they have discovered is that their unwillingness to endure the disability which has beset them turns out to be the problem.
What happens to us doesn’t mean our life is over unless it truly is death. Last I checked dead people don’t usually report that they are unable to endure being dead, either, so if you are complaining about the ills that have befallen you then you still have a life.
However, if something happens to you like losing your eyesight, for instance, your life only ends at that point because you choose to believe it does. However, if you accept that you still have a life even though the world is now dark you may just find that you see more clearly, although be it differently than you did before your sight was gone. If you allow yourself time to adjust and accept that the turn of events regarding the loss of your vision (or any other part of your body for that matter) simply means that you will need to learn to function differently, you may be amazed to find, “You Can!”
Dale tells us that he doesn’t expect that we should bow down to the harshness that reality throws at us. He says that he isn’t promoting that kind of thinking at all. He simply explains how we need to be able to recognize that not everything we are up against can be controlled. Dale tells us here that finding the wisdom to know the difference between what we can control and what we can’t go away towards a better quality of living.
What Mr. Carnegie is saying in a nut, the shell is that, if we learn to accept the things we don’t currently have the power to change and change the things we find that we can; that’s all part of keeping the worry in check in our lives!
Chapter 9: Put A Stop Loss Order On Your Worries: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
In Chapter 10 of How To Stop Worrying And Start Living; Dale tells us that Stop Loss Orders are something that folks usually put on stocks when they have money invested in the Stock Market. The purpose of a Stop Loss Order is exactly what it sounds like it is for. If a stock should dip below a certain number it is sold off immediately so that the investor doesn’t have to lose any more money on an investment that she or he has made.
Generally when investing in stocks, provided the investments are made intelligently, some may feel that there shouldn’t have to be any need for setting up a Stop Loss Order. However, it is a good idea before buying any stock to properly assess it in terms of what you expect to get out of it and how much you are willing to put into it, with regaaboute plus money, before you are willing to let it go and move on to the next thing. That assessment, of course, is a sort of Stop Loss order in and of itself because it puts limits on what you are putting into something.
In this chapter of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” Mr. Dale Carnegie explains that Stop Loss Orders can be used in our day day-to-day how long are you willing to wait for someone who was supposed to meet you for lunch or dinner? How long are you willing to remain angry with someone for something they once did to you? In short; how much are you willing to pay for something? Are you sure that the value you put on what you want isn’t too high? His point with all of this is that if we start putting Stop Loss Orders on those things that have the potential to cause us to worry or anxiety; we can minimize the stress in our lives that would otherwise take a major toll on us physically and emotionally.
In social situations, it is ha, rd to be stressed or worried about becoming another person f you refuse to be one. You can achieve this by setting limits as to what you will tolerate from other people. In short; you are working with an intelligent sense of values on your life and the time you have in it.
This also means you are putting a value on those around you in terms of the life energy you have to put into relationships with them. There is nothing wrong with doing that. ObviouslySomeill is worth more energy than others. So, “Yes,” you will have to make a decision much energy you want to devote and to whom.
However, regardless of whether it is people, places, or things,s that are the cause of our stress and worry; Dale Carnegie tells us in his book that we can evaluate things via three simple questions. How much is this person’s situation worth to me? At which point should a Stop Loss Order be put on this concern? How much should I be paying for this concern with regaaboutcurrency, or have I paid too much in terms of it already? Dale suggests that we ask ourselves these questions whenever we feel like we need to start throwing good currency after bad with regaaboutgy we put into daily living.
Tired of worrying all the time? Is what you are worried worriedrth the cost in terms of your quality of life? Did we mention here that putting a Stop Loss Order on your worries doesn’t require a Stock Broker, computer connection, and is Free of Charge? So if you are worried about something and you feel having that worry has cost you too much already why not submit your Stop Loss Order on it, before it bankrupts you, right now?
Chapter 10: Don’t Try To Saw Sawdust: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Have you ever tried it? Sawing up Sawdust? Really? You Have? No Way! However, did you, get it to stay still long enough to cut it?
Seriously though; Dale Carnegie points out in chapter 11 of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” that whatever happened a few minutes, days weeks, months years, or century,ries ago is not changeable. It is done and over with. There are no do-overs Once a point in time has passed we will not be capable of returning to it.
What is his point in all this? Well, since you aren’t ever going to be able to change what has happened there is no reason why we should ever worry about it. Life is not a video that can be fast-forwarded or rewound for editing purposes. If it was we’d all be living forever, right?
Granted; if an event we are dissatisfied with took place we certainly may be able to modify the outcome of it through actions we may be able to take in the present. That is always a possibility. However, since what is done is done in many cases; accepting an event as having happened, analyzing it so you may profit by learning from the experience before moving on to the next thing, is about the best you can do.
Dale points out here that worrying about what is not changeable will certainly change us if we continue to stress or worry about what’s done. Getting upset about the money we lost or even the relationship we’ve played a role in screwing up, every day for the next ten years, is going to age us, if not worse.
It’s kind of like accidentlaccidentallythe open container of milk onto the floor. We didn’t mean for it to happen. Maybe we forgot it was there, didn’t realize it was there, or just didn’t see it there on the edge of the counter. We bumped it. It went flying and spilled everywhere.
Did we mean for it to happen? Of course not! Milk costs money! Can we salvage any of the milk that spilled? No doubt someone may try but the reality of the situation is that the milk is not going to be in a suitable state for drinking, even if we could get it back in the container again. So it’s gone for good. Why cry over it? What’s the point! The best you can do is to get your rear end down to the store for another container of it when you have the opportunity. Of course, you could work on making sure the mistake of knocking it off the edge of the counter doesn’t happen again in the future, too. But, beating yourself up over what’s done isn’t going to help you.
Now, having said all that, I think there is one thing we can certainly all agree with Dale Carnegie on; regardless of whether you had it or not. Repeatedly kicking ourselves, beating ourselves up, staying upset over things, holding grudges, resentments and feel, ings of anger over what is done trying to saw sawdust!
Chapter 11: 8 Words That Can Transform Your Life: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Your existence is what you’re thinking makes it! Yup! That’s right! Those are the eight words! Want to take a guess where Mr. Carnegie is going with this in Part 4 Chapter 11 of his book, How To Stop Worrying And Start Living? Go on! Make your guess! Now read on to see if you were right!
Dale tells us that our thoughts are the very thing that can make or break us as a person! Choosing the right thoughts will determine our attitudes towards life and the quality of it. People who constantly complain about their health tend to repel people when they do so. Positive people tend to attract others because they radiate what is good in positive about life. I can go on and on here and Dale probably could as well. But I think you get the idea.
A person is what they think about all day! What are your most frequent thoughts of the day? Are they of a positive nature or are they more about negative things, the money you don’t have, how much you hate your job, how annoying the people are around you, how the computer is so hard to use, how much you hurt physically, other people expect you to do too much etcetera? If this is the kind of thinking you engage in on a daildailysk you something, ok? “How’s it working for you?”
Dale tells us that he has seen countless people in their lives because they made the choice their thinking from negative to positive. Mr. Carnegie explains, in this chapter of his book, that regardless of the situations we may face in life it is the outcome of these situations that are largely influenced by our thoughts.
Dale explains that we aren’t hurt by the things that happen in life. The pain is created by our opinions of what happens in life. We have the power to choose whether to be hurt and upset by what has happened or we can simply look at the situation calmly; deciding how we want to handle it.
Perhaps, to some, this sounds unrealistic and Pollyanna. But even in the Martirts, they teach you how to remain calm in even the most life the life-threateningtions. So, when you stop to think about it, there is truth to what is written in this chapter of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.”
Mr. Carnegie does know that it takes a bit more than just making thdecidingppy for someone to make it so. He tells us that mental willpower alone will not do it.
Dale explains that we need to act happy too. This involves intentionally smiling, relaxing our body, and then, working to mentally take the positive approach to things. It’s kind of hard to be sad and smile at the same time, isn’t it? Do you think you can? Now! Prove it! Go ahead and try it! It’s not working for you, is it?
So in a nutshell; if you want to change your outlook from the negative to the positive, make the physical effort to exhibit the outward symptoms of feeling good and positive. This will in turn change the feelings you have on the inside from negative to positive as well. How well does this work? The answer to that is entirely up to you! How well do you want it to work?
Chapter 12: The High Cost Of Getting Even: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Are you looking for a way to age more quickly? How about high blood pressure? Do you feel like yours needs to be higher? No? Don’t want any heart trouble either, ha?
Dale Carnegie tells us in Chapter 13 of his book, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that the above-mentioned things can happen to a body when its owner is the vengeful spiteful type. Yup! Seeking revenge can contribute to any lady or gentlemen’s health failing and definite decline in good looks.
But, can we forgive our enemies? Dale Carnegie and Jesus Christ believe we can! It is written in the Bible that we should. Besides, didn’t Jesus himself do enough teaching by example to show that it could be done?
Just imagine how happy your enemies would be if you destroyed your looks and your health because you just had to continue hating them. Who wants to give their enemies that kind of satisfaction?
I’d rather happily outlive all of my enemies while enjoying a good long healthy life. That sounds far more appealing to me for some reason. How about you?
Dale tells us that it was written long ago that sooner or later every person will have to answer for the wrongs they have done. He tells us that the wise person who understands this universal law will make it a point to hate no one and let go of anger for a greater cause.
Mr. Carnegie informs us that we can easily ignore the actions of those who wrong us by getting involved in something greater than we are. When involved in a cause that we are passionate about it’s a lot easier to ignore criticisms and general negativity when it is directed our way. This is because our focus is so largely consumed by the love we have for what we are working on, or, have become a part of.
Dale brings out an interesting point, too, which we may want to give some careful consideration. Our enemies are the way they are because of where they came from. If we had lived in their shoes there is a good possibility we’d behave the same way that they do. Therefore we should be grateful that we are not in their shoes. So rather than seek vengeance upon them for their actions Mr. Carnegie suggests we give them our understanding and sympathy for feeling the need to do the things they do. Can you be upset with someone who does unkind things to you because they don’t know any better?
In short; people are a product of their environment to some extent. True! We all can know right from wrong, work out our differences fairly and reasonably with one another plus grow as human beings despite our upbringing and background. However, to exact revenge upon our enemies because they haven’t come along the path of life as far as we have will hurt us far more than it will ever hurt them.
No, they didn’t have to do what they did to us. But they did it. It’s in the past and the past can only serve to educate us and prepare us for a more positive and brighter future if we let it. Besides, even though vengeance may be sweet in the near term, the long-term effects of getting even are just too high priced of a cost to bear. This is exactly what Mr. Carnegie is driving at in this chapter of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living!”
Chapter13: If You Do This You Will Never Worry About Ingratitude: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Dale Carnegie tells us in Chapter 13 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that it is human nature for people not to show gratitude for what they get from other people. If parents want their children to show appreciation for the things their parents and other people do for them then their children must be taught by them how to do this. Basically what Dale is saying here is that having gratitude is an acquired behavior and not a natural one.
“Now,” if you are a parent reading this; keep in mind that teaching a child to be thankful is not harming them emotionally in any way. It is merely teaching them that the good in life should never be taken for granted. Some would call it teaching them that, “They are not owed a living by the world,” or that what they have is not out of entitlement.
Teaching children to be grateful is not the same as teaching them to feel inferior or unworthy of what they have been given and had done for them. Gratitude is merely a feeling of thanks; otherwise known as gladness, joy, or happiness for something that has happened.
However, it would appear in this day and age that many grown-up people confuse having feelings of gratitude with indebtedness. But who likes to feel like they are constantly in debt? Yet, when you look up the meaning of debt, which is defined as having committed a sin or trespass, owing something to someone, borrowing, and terms along those lines (depending upon which dictionary you look debt up in); you can see that it is quite different from the meaning of gratitude.
Mr. Carnegie tells us that we can avoid being upset by ingratitude by not expecting people to be thankful to us. If we do the things for people that we want to do for them then we don’t need to hear their thanks. If you save someone’s life and they don’t thank you for it are you going to kill them? Of course not! You saved their life because you felt it was the right thing to do. You did it out of a sense of humanity.
On 9/11/2001 God only knows how many people from around the country descended upon the City of New York to help after the twin towers fell. This is not in Dale Carnegie’s book. But it goes along with his text in this chapter because it is a perfect example of people helping people without expecting anything whatsoever in return. Many of them to this day was probably never formally thanked for what they did in the days and weeks after September 11, 2001, and nor did they seek recognition for their efforts. They were there because they wanted to be there. They weren’t ordered there. They came on their own. Those that couldn’t be there were helping in other ways; sending money to family’s affected by the attack, canned goods, etcetera, because they wanted to. If they were lucky they may have gotten a thank you letter in the mail for their donations, telling them that they should keep it on record for tax purposes at the end of the year. But most people who did what they could in the aftermath of September 11, 2001, did it out of caring and in the spirit of love.
So, yeah, if you are doing the things that you want to do for people out of love or for the joy of doing it, you are better off emotionally. If you are doing things for other people because you are looking for attention or are looking for something in return, praying upon someone in other words, because you expect them to have a sense of obligation or indebtedness to you, well…. A lot of the time you are going to find out, if you haven’t already, that your frustration level is just going to continue to rise, as Dale Carnegie more or less explains in this chapter.
So, the best you can do when it comes to dealing with ingratitude is to expect it, do what you do for others because you want to, and try your best to remember that showing gratitude is something that is an acquired trait. If you keep these things in mind you’ll be in a much happier place!
Chapter14: Would You Take A Million Dollars For What You Have? Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Here in Chapter 14 of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” Dale Carnegie tells us that, if we stop and think about it, about ninety percent of the things in our lives are eight and ten percent of the things in our lives are wrong. Dale tells us that we have a choice here. He says that we can choose to focus on the ten percent and be unhappy and possibly even work ourselves up to the point where we physically become ill. Or, the other option is that we can be happy about ninety percent of our lives which is wonderful! Now, “I don’t know about you!” But, “To Me,” being happy about what is right in life sounds like a cool plan!
Dale tells us, in so many words, that most people tend to focus upon what they lack instead of what they have. Few people stop to consider the assets they have, including their physical condition or health, and if they realized how rich they truly were they probably wouldn’t give any part of their riches up for all the gold in Fort Knox!
Unfortunately, though, it would seem that many folks have to come close to losing their family, friends, business, home, health, or nearly die before they learn how to be grateful for the riches they do have, “And live!” Only then do these folks learn to stop focusing on what they lack and show appreciation for what they have.
One way of looking at things in a positive light is by remembering that there is always someone worse off than you are. They experience more difficulties, often due to the social and physical challenges they face, as a result of their being differently-abled.
As a result; these folks certainly do have good reason to be bitter. The interesting thing about this, as Dale Carnegie notes, is that many times those who seem worse off because they are a few body parts shy of what society would deem as being normal are more positive despite the challenges they face due to their condition than those of us who possess a fully functioning body.
Isn’t it interesting how those we would expect to be focused on lack are not and the ones who have no real reason to be focused so heavily on it are? Can anyone tell me what’s wrong with this picture?
So, what do you think? Do you truly want to stop worrying and start living? Dale Carnegie feels you can. How do you do it? Simple! Dale tells us we need to start getting in the habit of counting our blessings rather than fixating on our troubles and problems. Do you think you can do that?
Chapter 15: Find Yourself And Be Yourself: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Are you who you want people to think you are? Or, are you? Dale Carnegie writes in Chapter 15 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that trying to conform to other people’s ideas of who we should or should not tend to burn us in the end.
Dale points out that it can haunt us in everything from job interviews to relationships. This idea of pleasing everyone else by attempting to fit their perceptions of who we should be has driven some to the point of taking their own life. They did this because they didn’t feel they measured up to other people’s ideas and expectations of them physically and/or personality-wise.
Why is it that we should be something we are not? What’s the point? Do you like people who are fake or otherwise less than genuine? I know I don’t! Neither does the Human Resource person; who can easily tell when an individual is telling them what they think they want to hear rather than the truth.
People who want to be someone else rather than who they are don’t particularly fare well in social settings because, whether consciously or unconsciously, those around them eventually tend to pick up on what the “Wannabe” (for lack of a better term) is doing. It’s a turn-off to other people when we pretend to be what we are not.
Besides; most of us live well within our limitations. What does Dale Carnegie mean by saying this in his book? Well, someone in the scientific community has figured out that we only use about ten percent of our brain. That means that there’s a lot of untapped potentials locked in our heads. This means that we barely scratch the surface when it comes to even think about using the other ninety percent of our minds.
Dale tells us that it also means that we have other gifts and abilities within ourselves that are lying dormant, waiting to be tapped. Between what we do use and what we have yet to discover about ourselves; we are unique.
Dale explains to us in this chapter that, even just genetically speaking, if we had three hundred thousand billion brothers and sisters from the same set of parents (man oh man would I pity the mom who gave birth that many times), none of them would be exactly like us. So, when you stop to factor our genetic makeup into the equation, plus all the other stuff talked about in this chapter regarding why we are all unique individuals, we are sort of forced to face the fact that we are each a one of kind.
Besides; who wants to be a cheap knockoff? Why should any of us ever have to be? We all know that the real deal is of a much higher quality and, in some instances, just downright priceless!
So, go for it! Be the best real you that you can be and leave the imitations in the dust!
Chapter 16: If You Have A Lemon Make A Lemonade: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Dale writes in Chapter 16 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that anyone can capitalize on their strengths and the good that comes their way. However, especially when it comes to worrisome situations, it takes a bit of courage and creativity to profit from them; turning the negative into a positive.
True, writes Mr. Carnegie, we may not be able to turn all of our negatives/lemons into something more positive and useful, like lemonade. But making the move to do so does have its advantages. Firstly; it forces us to look ahead more positively. Secondly; it triggers the release of creative energy.
Why are these things good? Well… It’s good because the result is that it helps to banish the worry and stress in our lives. Dale tells us that regardless of our background, no matter how good or bad it may have been in the past, we can use it to our advantage. He points out that people, who have been ill regularly, confined to a wheelchair, or have been deaf and/or blind can capitalize on their situations, drawing the positive out of themselves. Someone pats Mr. Carnegie on the back for me, ok? He gets it on this one! Yes!
Let’s take blindness for example. As you read this, chances are pretty good that you are thinking, “I couldn’t imagine ever being able to do anything worthwhile as a blind person.” However, the truth is that (and Dale Carnegie recognizes this) blindness can be the very thing that alters our perspective on life. It can alter the way we perceive things in a way that enables us to move forward more steadily and easily. Being differently-abled is what can enable someone to move ahead; bringing along with them those who are whole and complete.
Psychological conditions can have a positive effect on a person as well as the rest of society. Some artists would not have created the works they have done, which many of us admire if they weren’t clinically depressed or perhaps even schizophrenic. Others wouldn’t be noted in history as being the great leaders of all time if they didn’t have a tragic past to draw upon.
In short; the supposed bad things that happen to good people may very well be the thing that positively benefits us all. Of course, this can only happen if the person having the negative experience chooses to work it into a positive one.
So, the next time adversity confronts you, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to lay awake at night worrying yourself sick over it? Are you going to try and fight against it like a little spoiled brat that didn’t get their way?
What? You said you’re going to work on profiting from your losses? You are going to turn the lemons in life into lemonade, right? Awesome!
Chapter 17: How To Cure Depression In 14 Days: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Are you feeling a bit blue? Are you feeling like the walls are closing in around you, everyone hates you, and that you might as well exist on a diet of worms? In short; are you feeling depressed?
Dale Carnegie tells us in Chapter 18 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that there is something you can do about it if you want to! He explains that some therapists and psychiatrists make an excellent recommendations to some of their patients. They suggest that their patients start thinking of ways to do pleasing things for other people to take the focus off of themselves and how miserable they are. Now, Dale isn’t saying that this will work in every single case of depression. But it certainly may help the average person who is just feeling a bit down and out.
It should be pointed out here, too, that no text should ever be used as a substitute for a therapist or other licensed professional. If you are feeling that depressed where you are thinking of, or, are already planning to take your own life then you need to put this book down, “Now,” and reach out for help through the appropriate channels. Calling your local hospital would be a good start if you aren’t sure of where else to turn. They should be able to steer you in the right direction in helping you to determine what course of action is best in your particular situation.
Now, having said all that, helping or doing things to please other people doesn’t mean that you have to put yourself out to do it. It’s not something that you even really need to spend money to do. It could be something as simple as calling someone up to find out how they are doing (people love it when you take an interest in what is going on in their world) or just dropping someone a note to say hello; letting them know you were thinking of them. I think you get the idea. But if you put your mind to it there are a lot of things you could do to cheer someone else up. The cool part about doing this is that in helping someone else you start to feel better, too.
Dale Carnegie tells us that in some circles of the mental health profession; it is felt that it is those who do not think of others too often that have the most difficulty. They become so self-absorbed that when they start feeling down about themselves it’s hard for them to snap out of it because of their self-centered focus. They don’t see what the point is of doing for others because they don’t understand what the benefits of this kind of behavior are for them.
If you are good to others then you can’t help but be good to yourself. If you take an interest in others, it helps you not only forget about yourself and your troubles. You get to see the world from other people’s perspectives. This can prove to be pretty useful when you are looking to change your views and position in life.
So, what can you do for someone else today? Don’t think this will work? Try it out! You just might experience the surprise and thrill of your life that only doing good for other people can bring!
Chapter 18: How My Mother And Father Conquered Worry: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
In Part 5, Chapter 18 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” we discover Dale Carnegie’s story about how he grew up. He tells us that he grew up on a farm in Missouri and that his parents were both employed; earning little in way of money and pretty much providing for the family by trading goods that they were able to produce on their farm. They did this to get other things the family needed which they didn’t grow or otherwise have the resources to produce in-house.
Dale tells us that one of his fondest boyhood memories was being given ten cents by his father at a Fourth of July event and being told he could spend it on himself any way he wished. He said that at that point he felt rich!
He talks a bit about walking one mile to school in a foot of snow during the winter in twenty-eight degrees below zero weather. He describes how he was doing this without having any kind of footwear that kept his feet dry.
Mr. Carnegie says in this chapter that as a child he didn’t think that anyone had dry feet during the winter. This was simply because he never had any kind of shoes that could keep his own feet dry until he was fourteen years old.
He tells us that for years, no matter what the family did, they had no luck in making money. The river their farm was near flooded their corn and hay fields year after year; their hogs kept dying of cholera and had to be burned. The one year that their fields weren’t flooded by the river their financial situation didn’t improve at all. The money just wasn’t coming in no matter what they did.
Dale tells us that the farm was mortgaged, the debts were high and they couldn’t pay even the interest on the loans after a time. The bank was threatening Dale’s father; telling him that they would take his farm away if he didn’t pay them.
Mr. Carnegie’s father was forty-seven years old and didn’t have a penny to show for all the hard work he’d been doing over thirty years. Finally, the man was contemplating suicide but didn’t go through with it because of his wife’s faith in God and her conviction that all would work out in the end.
Dale tells us that his mother was right and that things finally did work out. He mentioned, too, that his father lived to be eighty-nine years old, enjoying many of the years he had left on earth.
The importance of religion is written about fairly extensively in this chapter of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” Dale tells us about how even those who are in the field of psychology have found that those who have religion as a part of their life do not suffer from nervous breakdowns and such like so many others who don’t practice any faith often do.
Dale says that it doesn’t matter much which religion one follows so long as they are following one which they can benefit from the values of. Religion gives people a moral compass by which they can live and the opportunity to take things to a divine power, which is little understood but greater than all of us.
So, how is it that Dale’s parents conquered worry? They prayed. They took their troubles to God and placed them in his hands. From what Dale Carnegie writes in this chapter; one is left with the impression that his mother might have been just a touch bit better at this than his father was. After all, Mr. Carnegie freely acknowledges here that it was his mother’s confidence in God’s love and power that kept his father alive during his lowest moment. But, in the end, it doesn’t matter whose faith was stronger. It was faith in a divine source that, like for so many other people, kept Dale’s family together.
Perhaps, all of us could stand to have a bit more faith in the divine source of all things. It matters not what we call it or even if we can prove it exists through any scientific means known to man today. If what has been said and written for centuries is true at all; we need only go slow to sense the wondrous force at work around us in all of our lives.
Chapter 19: Remember That No One Ever Kicks A Dead Dog: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Important! Dogs get kicked. Dead dogs don’t. That is how Dale Carnegie explains criticism at the start of Part 6, Chapter 19 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living.”
Dale tells us that people have this thing about wanting to pick other people apart who are in successful or high positions. They get satisfaction out of criticizing the more successful person, or person in a higher position because it makes them feel more important.
Of course, there are people out there who will criticize anyone because they can, or because they don’t feel good about themselves in the first place. They don’t care what position someone holds in life and will stop at nothing to throw in a few cheap shots whenever they get the chance.
Insecurity is a driving factor when it comes to this kind of behavior. That and dissatisfaction with one’s own life.
What people don’t realize though is that, by attacking us and criticizing our perceived faults, they are letting us know that we are important. They don’t understand that by running off at the mouth about every negative thing they think we are, “They are complimenting us!” The more they do it and the longer they go on about it shows us just how important we are in the scheme of things.
It matters not what they say about us. The harder folks have to work to find fault with us the more they let us know just how much they feel inferior to us. If they were superior to us they wouldn’t pay us any mind at all.
So, the way Dale writes it, if people are criticizing us we can take it as a positive sign that we are special and important. We are doing well. Our achievements are being noticed.
“So!” If we look at it from the perspective that Mr. Carnegie gives us on the matter; it certainly does seem that it would be more fun to smile at those who are criticizing us, rather than giving them the satisfaction of knowing that they are getting to us. That’s a pretty cool way of looking at being criticized, isn’t it?
Chapter 20: Do This And Criticism Can’t Hurt You: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Is someone going around telling people nasty stuff about you? Maybe they are writing false truths about you in the local paper, on Facebook, Twitter, or their blog! Does it matter? How is it affecting your life?
Dale Carnegie tells us in Chapter 20 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that most people would be more disturbed by the fact that they have a headache than if they were to see our names in the obituary section of the newspaper. In short; most people just don’t care what is said about us. They think more of themselves morning, noon, and night than anyone else.
Dale tells us a good sense of humor is very helpful in dealing with criticism. If you make up your mind not to let it bother you, perhaps even decide to have a little fun with it, “It’s just not going to have the desired effect that the one making the criticism hoped for.”
If you get bent out of shape over it or look for ways to get even with people for the mean things they say to you; Dale pretty much tells us that we are playing right into their hands and will only end up embarrassing ourselves. Sometimes rolling with the punches is a better defense than trying to block or deflect them!
True, there is the odd case where the falseness of what someone says about you may impact your relationships and even your livelihood. But for the most part; the risk of things said about you having an impact on your life in a negative way is minimal!
So, “What say you?” Are you going to get upset over what other people (who don’t have any place in your life) say? Or, are you just going to focus on the good people around you and let the rest go?
Personally; I choose to focus on the good and not waste the time stressing over the bad that is said about me. That’s kind of like wasting good! What do you think?
Chapter 21: Fool Things I Have Done: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Did you know that some folks keep a written record of the foolish things they did? No? You’re not the only one! I didn’t either until I read Mr. Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living!”
However, Dale informs us at the start of Chapter 21 that he had been doing it for many years. He tells us that he did this as a way to keep track of his progress; breaking bad habits and as a means for identifying faults within his personality.
He explains that highly successful people have a practice of making a self-analysis of their actions regularly (sometimes even daily) to see where they might need to make changes within themselves. He tells us that they do this to improve upon the way they interact with others in their environment.
He tells us that self-analysis has helped more than one person gain the utmost respect from their peers and people around them in general. Not because the other folks knew that they were conducting these self-evaluations. The respect came because of the changes they made in the way they treated others, as a result of these evaluations being completed.
Dale explains that if you look at yourself honestly; there’s a good possibility that the majority of the troubles in life you experience are a result of your actions. He tells us that if we can learn to assess ourselves constructively in an honest fashion; we can improve both socially and emotionally.
Result? We stop creating problems for ourselves and get to have much more fun!
Mr. Carnegie also explains, however, that we should always stop and listen to criticism that is sincere and honest. When criticism is provided in the spirit of kindness and out of caring or respect it is a good thing; not something to be scuffed at. It is the very kind of criticism that can make us go from just being good people to great people.
Granted; the delivery of the criticism may not always be music to our ears. True, too, is the fact that people don’t always say things in a way that is soothing to our ego, either. However, big people tend to look past the lack of eloquent speaking from the messenger. Rather than writing criticism off because of its poor presentation; big people take the time to listen to the message in the context that it is given before deciding what to do with it after they hear it.
Not everyone is out to get us or punish us for daring to exist. There are people out there that do want to help us along. However, even if the method of delivery is a little rough, maybe it will serve to help us remember it a little better.
Dale says that asking for criticism is a good way to improve upon ourselves and what we do. Some very sharp salespeople in this world have done this and benefited from it greatly.
So, even if you feel that you are just fine the way you are; go ahead and take a look. None of us are perfect, “Right?” Well… Ok… Maybe you and I are. But even for those of us who think we are impeccable; perhaps just a small amount of self-criticism could go a long way towards making our little worlds a better place anyway?
Chapter 22: How To Add 1 Hour A Day To Your Waking Life: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Mr. Carnegie has explained in Part 7 Chapter 22 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that he is writing a chapter on fatigue in a book about worry because fatigue makes a person more susceptible to fear and worry. Dale also tells us that all we need to do if we doubt this is to ask a medical professional for confirmation.
Dale presents an interesting fact about your heart that a doctor should be able to confirm for you too. Your heart only works about nine hours a day, at seventy beats per minute, provided you have a healthy one, of course! In between contractions, your heart is completely at rest. That is why it can keep you alive day after day and year after year.
Dale also writes that if one is to rest before they become tired they can do more physical labor, even if they are only working half the time as the average person alongside them at doing the same thing. If working in an office; one can increase productivity by taking short breaks frequently.
Mr. Carnegie writes, too, a short nap around noontime and/or before dinner can increase the length of your day by one hour. This is because you are getting more useful sleep than if you were to try to sleep for eight hours straight through.
Dale tells us that Edison slept whenever he wanted and Churchill was able to work sixteen-hour days tirelessly because he rested frequently and conducted some of his business right from bed. Hey! If you’re going to be on the phone a lot you might as well be comfortable, right?
Sleeping when they are tired works well for some folks and other people have found that taking naps and breaks at specific times of the day is more beneficial to them.
What works well for you? Scheduled sleep or just the standard eight hours sleep. What? You can sleep a full eight hours without ever waking up? That’s awesome! I’m green with envy! Rock On
Chapter23: What Makes You Tired And What You Can Do About It: Brian Schnabel’sDale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Right from the start in Chapter 23 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” Mr. Carnegie lets us know that our brains never get tired. He points out that science shows that blood passing through the brain never contains elevated levels of toxins, as do other parts of our body. Elevated levels of toxins in other parts of our body apparently can cause us to suffer from fatigue. This lack of toxins in the blood flowing through the human brain has amazed more than one brilliant scientist; forcing them to conclude that our brains are tireless.
They say that what does make us tired are things like boredom, resentment, anger, and feelings of being unappreciated as individuals. In short; we get tired because our emotions cause stress/tension in our bodies.
Dale mentions here that people tend to associate work with effort. This idea in the mind can cause our bodies to tense up. Operating in a tense state is enough to wear anyone out after a while.
Even those folks who sit behind a desk all day tend to tense up and get tired because of the above-mentioned thinking. After all, “Work requires effort,” right? “Not!” Dale explains more about the concept of working effortlessly in this chapter, too!
Work does not have to cause tension. Dale writes that it is our attitudes and what we’ve been taught that causes tension. He tells us that tension is a habit and that bad habits like tension can be broken with practice.
Mr. Carnegie says here that the beginning steps to getting rid of tension are not something we do in the mind. The beginning stage of this process starts in our muscles. We need to start losing the tension in our bodies by telling our muscles to let go of all strain that they have in them.
It takes a little conscious thought to do this but if we focus on a specific part of our body, working on getting all muscles to relax in that location, before moving on to the next, we will be able to make ourselves as limp as a ragdoll. With practice in doing this over time, we will be able to do this more quickly and reap the benefits of this practice for longer and longer periods.
Dale tells us that some medical professionals feel that if you can relax your eyes then you have pretty much-taken care of all that you need to. Dale enlightens us as to why this is in his writing; telling us that our eyes burn up a quarter of all the energy in our bodies due to nervous strain. He writes that this is why some folks who have perfectly sound eyes run into difficulty with their vision.
He explains here too that at the end of a productive day folks should feel energized. Dale says that tiredness is generally a sign that we are not working as efficiently as we could be.
He stresses the importance of working in a comfortable position and making it a practice to relax at odd moments. Not making an effort to relax; just easing into a state of relaxation.
Relaxation and effort are not one of those things that go together like peanut butter and jelly. Why should they? One word counteracts the other. You know what happens when you are conflicted right?
So learn to relax your body at odd moments. Keep in mind that easing into a state of relaxation is not something you do by making an effort and remember that tiredness is not the sign of a productive day. Once you’ve gotten a handle on these concepts it’s pretty easy to feel better about all that you do and tweak the circumstances a bit when you need to. Like, “When you are feeling tired!”
Dale starts Chapter 23 of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” by talking about a class in Applied Psychology that was started in Boston by a psychologist. This psychologist recognized that some people suffered from all the symptoms of illnesses they didn’t have. This man knew that checking them over, finding nothing wrong with them, and then sending them home, telling them to forget about what they were feeling was not the answer.
Dale explains that this Psychologist knew the people who came to his class (which was more like a clinic) were suffering physically from things like arthritis, fatigue and even exhibiting symptoms of non-existent stomach cancer, plus other conditions. But he also knew that these folks didn’t want to feel this pain. To them it was real but he also understood that their trouble stemmed from psychological issues.
Dale tells us that the clinic was a great success when this psychologist started it back in 1930, even though other psychologists thought for certain it was going to be a failure. Instead, this class of sorts in Applied Psychology turned out to be a great success. It helped thousands of people lose the pains and such that they were experiencing and live much happier lives.
Why were so many people helped through this class/clinic? They were helped because of one of the key elements of Psycho-Analysis, “Words!” Mr. Carnegie writes that tension, anxiety, in short, “Worry,” is relieved when people can talk out their problems to someone they can trust. Keeping everything inside tends to build up negative feelings. But if we have someone we can talk things out with, getting the perspective of another human being about our troubles, helps us to lose the stress about the issues we face. Talking to someone else also helps us to see things for what they are because we are now verbalizing and listening to what is coming out of our mouths as we’re talking. Yes, we already know what we are going to say before we say it but when you talk something out it takes on a different quality that can make things a bit easier to work through.
Other things that came out of the clinic/class that was found to be useful to people were things like carrying a notebook filled with prayers, poems and other sayings, etcetera. This was because they found what they had put there was uplifting to them whenever they read these things to themselves, especially when they started feeling down.
Not dwelling upon the shortcomings of other people for too long was another thing that was found to be helpful to many people who attended this clinic. If you find yourself doing this a lot; one way of stopping yourself from focusing on a person’s negative points is to write a list of their positive points, after asking yourself what your life would be like without them in it. Can you truly do without them or do their good points out way their bad ones?
Other suggestions that worked well for folks included; getting interested in other people’s lives, Making up a schedule of the work that needs to be done the next day before going to bed at night, and keeping focused on staying relaxed.
If you want to keep your good looks for life following some of the above suggestions might be a good motivation for you. Dale says in so many words that anger and stress tend to rapidly deteriorate the image of beauty and vitality of those who permit these negative emotions to dominate their worlds.
It’s as simple as this. Live happily! Look happy! Look young! If you want to look good, feel better, and be happier, the formulas for doing that are here at hand for you to do as you choose.
Personally; I choose looking youthful over ancient any day of the week! How about you?
Chapter25: 4 Good Working Habits That Will Help Prevent Fatigue And Worry:Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Keep in mind as you read this; being tired leads to stress/worry and stress/worry leads to being tired. Nice little vicious cycle, ha? Anyhow, the solution for this is to read on and see just what Mr. Carnegie has in mind!
Dale writes in Chapter 25 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that the first good working habit to have is; make sure that your desk is clear of everything (papers, etcetera) that do not have anything to do with the immediate task at hand. Dale explains that if there is a bunch of stuff on your desk (papers that need to be filled out, letters that need answering, and God only knows what else) you are already setting yourself up for building tension/worry.
Having this pile of stuff confront you when you walk through the door to your office creates a sense of urgency. It tends to leave one feeling that there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done.
So, if you keep the letters answered, the paperwork filled out and all other business finished you have no pile plus less stress/worry because you are on top of it all. In short; what Dale is saying in this part of the chapter is more or less, “Deal with your important business as soon as possible and it will not be unfinished!” You can’t lose sleep or otherwise stress over what’s already been done, “Right?”
Next Dale Carnegie tells us rule number two; handle things in order of importance. Some things are more important than others. When it comes to your work there are always going to be certain types of business that are a priority.
For example; if you are an internet marketer who has sites to work on that aren’t making you much money at the moment but are writing book summaries for kindle that is generating a better amount of cash flow for you than what your websites are doing, which are you more than likely to prioritize? If you said writing more book summaries, “You would be correct!” If you do volunteer work in addition to your regular business; the business that earns you money is going to take a certain amount of priority over your volunteer work.
This doesn’t mean that you blow off your volunteer commitments or stop working on building up your less-than-profitable business ventures. It just means that what draws the cash in is of greater importance than those things that, “Might,” draw the cash in, “If at all,” and should be taken care of first. “Yes!” You can set time aside for those secondary things you still want to work on but for most of us the first order of business is to make money so the priority with any job is obviously to work on those projects which keep the cash moving our way, “First!”
Now, moving on to rule number three; solve problems on the spot if you have all the facts necessary to do so. Also, don’t put off decisions you can make today until tomorrow. It’s just going to create more stress for you the longer it is permitted to weigh on your mind. Did you get a problem? Do you know the solution? Don’t procrastinate! Put your solution into action! It is that simple!
Dale’s good working habit is rule number four; learn to organize, delegate, and oversee things. Mr. Carnegie points out that anyone building up a business must learn to delegate things to the right people if they are going to be able to move their business forward. We can’t do everything ourselves. Those of us looking to build businesses from the ground up can certainly attempt this, “I can do it all myself. I don’t need anyone’s help,” approach to run our enterprises but we will certainly be moving towards our graves ahead of schedule if we do. Many strong-headed business people have tried to do it all on their own, setting a shining example for the rest of us, which can easily be found in the obituary column of any local newspaper.
Working on everything alone just creates way too much anxiety, a sense of hurriedness, and worry to be worth it. Dale says that he knows it’s hard to learn to delegate but that, in so many words, the alternative is just unthinkable.
I’ll take life! How about you?
Chapter 26: How To Banish The Boredom: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Mr. Carnegie tells us in Chapter 26 of, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” that boredom with work can make us tired. There have been studies conducted which show that the body’s metabolism will slow down if we are not interested in what we are doing. We even begin to take in less oxygen and feel sleepy as a result. Yet the same studies show that if we are interested in what we do we will feel awake and alive. The body’s metabolism speeds up and we are raring to go!
Mr. Carnegie tells us that even if the work we do is mostly mental we can still feel fatigued by the amount of work we are not doing. Constant interruptions, broken appointments, etcetera, can leave us feeling wiped out. This is generally because the events just mentioned are taking our focus off of what we want to do.
However, Dale tells us that by giving ourselves a pep talk every morning we can begin to change our attitudes. Since much of what we feel is based on our emotional state of mind; talking positively to ourselves at the start of our day can make a world of difference.
If one gets up in the morning and picks on themselves, telling themselves how worthless and stupid they are, their day is pretty much going to suck (for lack of a better way to put it). So, in a nutshell; if you start negative (unless you work to turn things around) the rest of your day is likely to be negative, too. But if you start positive then things will go better for you and fatigue will be considerably less at the end of your day.
Even if you are going to a job that you can’t stand; Dale tells us that we can still find ways to make it interesting if we want to. We can start by at least acting as though we like the job we are doing. Besides, if truth be told, even the jobs we hate still provide us with positive benefits. So there isn’t any reason we shouldn’t look to take a more positive approach to the work we are currently doing, no matter how much we loathe doing it.
Drawing the job we want into our reality just might be as simple as tricking ourselves into being cheerful about our work. Now that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?
Chapter 27: How To Keep From Worrying About Insomnia: Brian Schnabel’s Dale Carnegie Stop Worrying And Start Living Summary.
Mr. Carnegie tells us here in Chapter 27 of, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” that insomnia is one of those things that can only become a problem for us if we let it. In other words; if you worry about going to sleep it is more likely that you will stay awake.
Dale brings up a well-known fact about sleep, too. Indeed, no one knows really how much sleep is required by us. The amount of sleep needed is something that varies widely from individual to individual. If you are trying to mold yourself into an idea of how much sleep you should be getting then this may very well be the trouble.
Dale tells us that some folks only sleep about four to five hours a night and others sleep for up to eleven. Each person is different in this way. Dale also explains here that some people who think they have insomnia are often sleeping more than they realize. But he makes one thing very clear. If you worry about not sleeping it will most certainly wreck your health. If you just take it in stride and resolve to just enjoy relaxing in a state of rest, or simply get up and do something, you will be much better off.
Prayer has often helped folks relax and fall asleep because it gives people a sense of security. They feel that they are being watched over while they sleep and are more easily able to let go of everything and drift off.
Physical activity is another excellent way of making sure you sleep. Running, swimming, bicycling, playing tennis, etc., are all fun ways to ensure a good night’s sleep.
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However, no matter what you decide to do, choosing to worry, as with everything else written about in this book, will not help you get a better night’s sleep. Worry will not help you live longer, look better, feel better, be better loved by others, or even remotely keep you in a state of good health.
Hopefully, you will have read enough here to reach at least one unassailable conclusion. It is time to stop worrying and start to enjoy living more fully from this day forward, “The first day of the rest of your life!”